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sick

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In case anyone gives a shit, I'm sad.  Really fucking sad right now.  

I'm trying so hard not to be pissed.  I don't have the energy to be pissed, but I am.

I guess you don't know what I'm talking about.  But I guarantee if 90% of my friends posted a vague entry like this, I would get it.  Because I fucking pay attention.

And I'm sad that you ditched me.  But I'm not going to bring it up again.  It just sucks that I CALLED that is how you were going to treat me....and it was.  And it fucking sucks we had those plans before you even knew who the hell he was.

It all fucking sucks.

I am so fucking sick of feeling like this.

Ugh. I would love to wake up tomorrow and have everything perfect.
All I want to do tonight is watch crappy tv and go to bed early.

P.S. Don't tell anyone, but I kind of miss my wife. Shhh.

[	Current Location	|	my daddys office	]
[	Current Mood	|	content	]
[	Current Music	|	dashboard	]

Well I guess it's time for an update.  Life, although busy, has been pretty good lately.  I got sick sick last weekend but I'm finally completly caught up and back to a normal work schedule.  Yesterday was the weirdest 9/11 ever.  We talked about it in government for a few minutes but it just ended up in an argument...again.

I am so sick of this whole homecoming situation.  Now it looks like we aren't even going to get a parade.  What's a Ballard homecoming celebration without the parade? I guess I should just be happy we have a formal homecoming, even though I'll be skipping out beacuse I have AMAZING TICKETS TO RENT!!!!!

Anyways, I guess my "update" sucks.  Just saying I'm alive and functioning.  But beginning tomorrow with 7 days of working in a row...that might change. :)

I am in such a good mood lately. Life is just really fucking amazing right now. Fingers crossed it lasts longer than a week.

I am sad.

My parents took away the credit cards. Which means now I have to pay for everything. :(

And, Erin is leaving. Our BeautyFirst CoolKids club is breaking up.

Senior Year Schedule:

01. AP English- Livesay
02. Counselor's Aide- Rainey
03. Journalism 2- Pollio (assistant)
04. AP Gov- Fossett
05. AP Psych- Owen
06. Journalism 3- Pollio

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bored

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In your life, there will always be people that stand out. The people that made you feel safe, loved, truly cared about. The people that made everything OK when your with them, and everything fun.  Becuase I've moved around so much growing up, I've never stayed in touch with people for more than 4 years. I've always moved or they moved or something has happened. I've always blown it off when I miss people and say it's nothing I could do. Not my fault I moved, right?

When I think of the one person I miss most, the answer is so clear to me it's scary. He's always been my what-if guy, and was at one point my best friend.  When I realized there was no reason we were no longer in touch, I got kind of sad. At first I was like, oh well, he goes to a different school.  Bullshit. My best friend goes to a different school, and I can make plenty of time for her. Oh well, he's going to college next year. So what, UK is like an hour away. Besides, school doesn't start for 3 weeks.

I guess you can't just always do the what-ifs or if-onlys. Sometimes you just have to shut the fuck up and pick up a damn phone. I would just love to know before he leaves that it's ok. I want to feel completly, totally, 100% safe just one more time.

Hey freaks just posting to say I'm leaving for Destin in about 3 hours.

I'll be there till the 16th, but will have internet access, so myspace comments or comments here would be much appreciated. I also have my phone with me, and of course calls are better...but comments are good too :)

Hope you all have a fantastic week, be safe, and don't do anything I wouldn't. But, ya know, call me if you do.

One more thing, I love you like crazy Lindsay Bo Bindsay. I'll miss you, and you best miss me a lot, too.
Please be careful. I'll call you when I'm on my way.